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May 1st, 2008
09:54 am - Can we please have a planet for just us sane people?
Ben Stein has made a movie decrying "big science's" oppression of the "smart new idea" of intelligent design. Unfortunately, he isn't trying to be a comedian this time.
http://expelledthemovie.com/
Folks, if you're going to float a theory that a big man in the sky made it happen, here is the test I will apply to your arguments. I will substitute the phrase "my hairdryer" for the phrase "the big man in the sky". If the evidence supports the fact that my hairdryer may have created the universe, I will listen. If it doesn't, you need to get over your fascination with the imaginary sky man.
I want to point out the "no intelligence allowed" tagline is extremely ironic.
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April 11th, 2008
12:06 pm - What is Cheney smiling at? The reflection in his glasses might give you a hint.
http://www.whitehouse.gov/vicepresident/photoessays/outdoors/06.html
Lets just hope the VP doesn't decide to sell any teapots on Ebay.
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April 10th, 2008
11:27 am - More SPAM?!?
Seriously, I figured after the ridiculing I gave them last time, they would have been so ashamed they'd quit. Guess not. They are still sending them, and the subject lines are stupid, as usual.
Grow your monster now
Just add water? Is this the new Chia Monster™ I've heard about?
Bigger is almost always better
Especially when it comes to eyebrows. I just love a gal with a healthy pelt above her peepers.
Only Wanna Be With You
What is this, "Make up a Bryan Adam's Song Title" day?
Your fantastic device makes her shake
It's called a blender, and it also makes smoothies and margaritas. It's not rocket science. Glad you like it though.
Make her notice your manliness
Burp in her face? Leave the seat up?
Your gf is lonely! Y w8?
Idk, my bff Jill?
Your are strong
Your are english badly
very CheapPrice Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate dip1omas
And quality ones too, I see.
DISCOUNT-PRICE Pharmacy offers FREE SHIPPING to all countries qmucug ryasly p1kmvx2v0g
"qmucug ryasly p1kmvx2v0g"? is that the sound of a spammer's computer short circuiting? I hope so.
re: jobs in Tennessee
hahahahahahaha!!!! bwaaahahahaha!! oh! ow! the laughing, it hurts. hahaha! ho.... whew. *sniff*
What IS OEM Software And Why DO You Care?
I'm sorry, I don't. You have me confused with someone else.
Huge tool to please your lassie
LEAVE... THE DOG... ALONE !
Leave no weak spots in your life
For only the strong spots survive. (Darwin's survival of the fittest spot theory)
think about your cucumber size
Just think about it. Shouldn't you be cutting back?
You must be The Real Man with huge dignity
Is that your dignity in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Make a giant out of your dwarv!
In Russia, you no make giant out of dwarv. Dwarv make giant out of you. Meet Vlad, my dwarv. He'll be your trainer today.
Love tools deserving of a titan!
"Tools?" Uh, just how many are you proposing here? Let's not get crazy.
yeah.
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March 31st, 2008
05:13 pm - How about some jogging shoes too?
Is it just me, or is it really pitiful to give a bunch of legless guys new "running suits"?
"The Marine Corps officially unveiled its new running suit to Marines assigned to the Wounded Warrior Regiment" ... complete with pic of guy who will probably never run again.
http://www.emilitary.org/article.php?aid=13295
I hear they are also giving them some salt for their wounds.
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04:17 pm - ack
Doctor! The controls have stopped responding!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23833830/
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March 26th, 2008
03:29 pm - "Is the antichrist"
On a variation of my last post, I thought I might try typing "is the antichrist" (with quotes) into google instead. Upon typing, I noted that the only two suggestions for completing my query were:
"is the antichrist muslim"
and
"is the antichrist a muslim"
Must be a burning question (no pun intended) among some segments of society, to rank as the only suggestions.
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11:06 am - Who is the next antichrist?
I was curious, so I asked google. I typed the phrase, with quotes: "is the next antichrist" ... then looked at the results to see who was being discussed.
Here is the tally (only 3 pages of results):
Barack Obama |||||||||
Hannah Montana |
movie character |||
neighbor |
Rudy Guliani ||
unknown/ambiguous |||
Raffi |
Bill Gates |
dog fighters |
McDonald's |
I am really embarrassed by my fellow humans sometimes.
Note: this was brought on my an email forwarded to me by one of my clients, which said, in part:
According to The Book of Revelations the anti-christ is:
The anti-christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything. Is it OBAMA??
I STRONGLY URGE each one of you to repost this as many times as you can! Each opportunity that you have to send it to a friend or media outlet...do it!
If you think I am crazy..Im sorry but I refuse to take a chance on the "unknown" candidate
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March 21st, 2008
08:56 pm - fashion protip
If you're going to wear a threadbare wifebeater, don't wear a bright red bra under it.
Or if you do, at least look like you meant to.
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November 18th, 2007
12:40 pm - dear previous owner of this house
I may not know a lot about carpentry, but I'm pretty sure that when you put down new plywood for flooring, you're not supposed to put it ON TOP OF THE OLD CARPET PADDING!!!
!@#$%^&*
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12:33 pm - Vaughn needs...
Google "[yourname] needs", and post the results.
For convenience, I've broken this up into themes.
====================
Take care of Vaughn
====================
Vaughn Need Therapy. [first result, no shit. lol!]
Vaughn needs to rest.
Vaughn needs a lil help...again.
Vaughn needs your help.
Vaughn needs to minimize the damage.
Vaughn needs to diet.
Vaughn needs to step it up.
Vaughn needs a good injection of testosterone.
Vaughn needs to trim his nose hair.
Vaughn needs a quiet, adult only, rural home where his people will manage his issues and make sure he doesn't make bad decisions.
Vaughn needs his equipment. [damn right i do]
Vaughn needs less rap, more country. [i would debate this, i need very little of either!]
Vaughn needs the rush or adrenalin buzz.
====================
Kill Vaughn
====================
Vaughn needs to be reined in.
Vaughn needs to die.
Vaughn needs to DIAF and stop making bad movies.
Vaughn needs to be punched.
Vaughn needs a big smack upside the head.
Vaughn needs to stay dead.
====================
Strange Vaughn?
====================
Vaughn Needs A Bodyguard?
Vaughn needs his kidney. [true statement]
Vaughn needs to be the guy.
Vaughn needs to build liquidity while paring down debt.
Vaughn needs $50000 for his newest get-rich-quick scheme.
Vaughn needs Elisa not to marry his father so he can retain ownership of Kirkaldy and Elisa.
Vaughn needs to throw away the old, average ugly milk. [and what? keep the new, exemplary, fancy milk?]
Vaughn needs space and lives over in New Jersey.
Vaughn needs ride by Infamous.
Vaughn needs The Hot Zone to represent him.
Vaughn needs to be in the dressing room.
Vaughn needs to concentrate while he waits for his hand. [um...]
Vaughn needs to observe the total package.
Vaughn needs to take her dancing, but she knows he hates it.
====================
Vaughns Relationship
====================
[note: Google seems to be really down on my love life!]
Vaughn needs the Supernanny.
Vaughn needs to marry me.
Vaughn needs to wisk Sydney off her feet, and go far far away.
Vaughn needs to get a life and a wife.
Vaughn needs to go see swingers, right now.
Vaughn needs to switch it up.
Vaughn needs to dump her soon!!!
Vaughn needs to break up with her.
Vaughn needs to come back to life.
Vaughn needs to find something else.
Vaughn needs his ring stolen.
Vaughn needs to rediscover his mojo.
Vaughn needs to score.
Vaughn needs to be relieved.
====================
Vaughn's Favorites
====================
Vaughn needs to go on a mission requiring him to ride a horse and brandish a sword.
Vaughn needs to take some supplements because he's got that Eastern-European scurvy look.
Vaughn Needs To Photoshop Himself Before Leaving The House.
Vaughn Needs a Happy Pill.
Vaughn needs a dose of Crazy.
Vaughn needs to have the friendship of the Banshees.
Vaughn needs 3 full weeks of sleep and a shirt that wouldn't be described as "Ned Flanderish".
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October 23rd, 2007
08:50 pm - Argh
STUPID mp3 crashing, lightroom interface corrupting, video buffer overflowing, magically rebooting, mysteriously at night turning on-ing, non saving when saying its saving, command ignoring, file losing, share confusing, human confounding, anger creating !@#$%^&* computer!
Ha! I format thee!
(back in a while)
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September 19th, 2007
09:41 am - why one must not forget the coffee press
This would seem obvious to those who like coffee... forget the coffee press? Impossible! But in a household such as mine, where one of the two coffee drinkers really doesn't like coffee-press coffee and prefers to use the espresso machine, using the press for one cup of coffee doesn't make sense. It takes longer, you have to heat the water separately, etc.
So it had been a while since I had used the coffee press. It had gotten pushed to the back of the counter. Melanie noticed it back there Monday, and commented to me... something to the effect of "the coffee press is looking scary". I had to think for a second, then realized she probably meant that I had forgot to remove the grounds last time I used it, and it was turning into a science experiment. Indeed, that was the case... it growled. It had mirrored glasses and a manifesto. It made vague references to my mother's safety.
So, last night after work, I decided to clean it out. Pulled it into the light of day... man. That's nasty looking. Oh well. I proceeded to pull the plunger out. Or I should say, I tried to. It was adhered to the glass and grounds by the considerable forestry taking place in the beaker. It took undo pressure, but finally it let go. Shhoomp!
A green cloud billowed out of the container. I shit you not. I am assuming they were spores or something. That CAN'T be good, thought I, taking two steps back to avoid breathing it.
Yeah. I've never used bleach when washing dishes before, but I'm willing to make an exception this time. I'm letting it soak for a while.
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September 13th, 2007
September 10th, 2007
08:09 am - I didn't watch
So I can't say if Britney bombed at the MTV Music Awards or not.
But I have to take issue with the Associated Press' report that names some of the things wrong with her performance:Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears' once-taut belly.
Picture of said "paunch":
Dear people of the world... please send all women with a paunch like Britney's to see Vaughn Teegarden, of Vaughns Photo Art, for appropriate appreciation and photography. Thank you.
This world is nuts.
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September 6th, 2007
07:54 am - North Dakota threatens Louisiana, flies nuclear tipped B-52 into their airspace.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/military/2007-09-05-b-52_N.htm
Actually it's scarier... the Air Force accidentally loads six nuclear-tipped cruise missiles into a B-52 and flies it from ND to LA. So if you live in Arkansas and had this weird feeling of approaching nuclear doom, now you know why.
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September 5th, 2007
04:04 pm - Dear Charter Business...
If we say we need a static IP, and you tell us you are giving us a static IP, and you charge us for one, please go ahead and actually provision our account that way. Otherwise, I may spend hours setting up port forwarding, compiling helpware applications, and other such activities based on the belief that the IP address I have will stay.
It would really suck if some random Wednesday afternoon in September I find that nothing is working, and that I can't support my customers, because you pulled my IP out from under me. I would really hate that, you stupid jackasses. I'm glad you wouldn't do such a thing. Thank you for your considerate attention to detail.
Love,
Vaughn
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August 12th, 2007
07:42 pm - Just down the street from my house...
JOHNSON CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT NEWS RELEASE
Prepared By: Inv. Don Shepard 475
Date: 08/10/07
Time: 7:00 p.m.
Subject: Death Investigation
Approved By: Lt. Rick Stevens
On Friday, 08-10-07, at approximately 7:00 p.m. Officers of the Johnson City Police Department responded to the Johnson Inn, 2700 W Market St. to investigate a death. Employees of Johnson Inn discovered the body in the room when they went in to clean. The identity is being withheld pending notification of next of kin. At this time no fowl play is expected.
Since there is no "fowl play" at the inn, I guess I'll have to supply it. Here is the trailer to "Poultygeist - Return of the Chicken Dead".
http://www.poultrygeistmovie.com/video/trailer/
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July 30th, 2007
09:57 am - Complaint about LJ tag system
When updating through the webpage, tagging is ridiculously difficult. Why do you give me a tag management tool (http://www.livejournal.com/manage/tags.bml) when I cannot actually APPLY the tags to my posts? When I go to make a post, I have to type (or should I say retype) each tag in individually, comma separated. Why not just, oh, I don't know... pick tags from the tag list I created? Seriously. This implementation is bizarrely bad. WTF.
If this site is going to REQUIRE a client to post/edit, just go ahead and require one. But don't pretend you are making a web-based tool and then totally bail on basic functionalities like tagging.
UPDATE: MYSTERY SOLVED!
The desired functionality is not part of Livejournal, but can be added to Firefox through a Greasemonkey script. Here's all you have to do:
1. Get Greasemonkey if you don't already have it: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/748
You will have to restart to complete installation.
2. Install the LJ Taglister script: http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/6828
Note: Userscripts.org was down when I tried to get to it. ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) datagoddess was kind enough to send me the script though, so I've stuck it on my website, in case others are as impatient as me.
http://www.vaughnsphotoart.com/uploads/ljtaglister.user.js (If the Userscripts.org link is working, I recommend you get it there instead though.)
When Greasemonkey is installed, clicking on the link to the javascript will prompt you to install the script.
3. Profit! Well, at least enjoy.
Here is how the form looks after you install the tag (screenshot is shrunk a bit... that is not part of the script!):
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