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April 13th, 2008
03:37 pm - Last weekend, Lorelei and I took the Blue Ridge Parkway to Mount Mitchell
1.
( +6 )
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March 10th, 2008
09:42 am - Zombies in a can
By Hannah, Lorelei, and friends.
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December 2nd, 2007
02:44 pm - swing
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May 24th, 2007
07:28 pm - Archery
( +7 )
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April 10th, 2007
12:08 pm - Misc excerpts from my life...
We're driving over to my parents house for Easter, and we come around the bend to see a small dog eating some roadkill on the double yellow. "Yuck," I say, "That puppy is eating that dead whatever. I'm glad I'm not a dog."
"Dad, don't talk about eating, I'm *starving*," says Storm, with great drama.
"Since we were talking about eating roadkill," I say in my defense, "I figured it didn't count."
"Dad," she says somberly, "I'm really hungry."
Later on, we all take a walk across the field to see if the chickens laid any eggs. As we're walking, Lorelei asks "Mom, do chickens self-pollinate?" Mel gives her this wide-eyed "do you have the brain-worms?" look. "No," I say, "Bees have to fly from chicken to chicken, building up chicken pollen on their legs, before the chickens can make eggs." Mel turns to me with a combination of wonder and fear, a look of "Oh crap, it's contagious" on her face, and starts putting some physical distance between herself and the rest of us.
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April 9th, 2007
07:18 pm - Jump!
Lorelei, stylin' it
( +3 )
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02:46 pm - Seed
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December 25th, 2006
10:11 pm - One thing leads to another.
=== Episode one - from an old video we watched today ===
I come upon Lorelei sitting on the floor. She's threeish. She's putting on a large sock of mine.
me: What are you doing?
Lorelei: *giggles*
me: Hmm? What are you doing??
Lorelei: [singsong voice] I'm not going to tell yooouuuu.
me: What? Why? Why not?
Lorelei: I'm not going to tell you because I'm preg-a-net with my babies.
me: [long pause... remember, I'm not used to this yet] Oh... really...
Lorelei: Yes, because you don't want me to have babies.
me: I think you might be a little bit young.
Lorelei: [no response]
me: How did you get pregnant? (he asked, cringing)
Lorelei: [correcting me] Preg-a-net...
me: How'd you get pregnant?
Lorelei: Preg-a-net...
me: [a tad more firmly] Pregnant.
Lorelei: [long pause... looks at me. then quietly...] preg-a-net.
me: Ok. How'd that happen?
Lorelei: Um, I just took off and found some babies at the baby store and... and I said "May I please have some of your babies?" and the lady... and she said "Of course."
me: And she put some babies in your tummy for you?
Lorelei: [thinks about this] Sure... they just opened up my tummy and they saw as many beds in there. And she said "I'm to put all my babies in there"...
me: Really?
Lorelei: ... and she put all my babies in there and I have all ninety-nine in my tummy. [she pulls up her sweatshirt and looks at her tummy. she starts wriggling around] Feel my tummy and you'll feel them getting out of their beds and playing with their toys.
me: Oh ho! How about that!
Lorelei: Yeah. [wriggles around some more]
me: You have to go potty, don't ya?
Lorelei: Of course I do.
me: Of course you do. Why don't you hurry and go potty?
Lorelei: Ok.
me: Ok.
=== Episode Two - Current day ===
We're driving in the car, and somehow the word "pregnant" comes up.
Lorelei: "Preg-a-net"
Storm: It's "pregnant".
Lorelei: [being cute like on the video] Preg-a-net.
Storm: [louder] Pregnant.
Lorelei: Preg-a-net
Storm: Pregnant!!
Lorelei: [laughing] Preg-a-net!
Storm: [matter-of-factly] Penis.
me: Ok, that's it, discussion over.
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September 25th, 2005
06:58 pm - Chicken butt
Dinner table...
Storm: Guess what.
Mel: What?
Storm: Chicken butt! Guess why.
Mel: Why?
Storm: Chicken thigh! Guess when.
Mel: When?
Storm: Chicken pen! Guess where.
Mel: Where?
Storm: Chicken hair!
Lorelei: Chickens are birds, they don't have hair.
Storm: Yes, they do. On their little, round, fuzzy chicken butts! (jumps out of chair and waves her butt at Lorelei)
Lorelei: I'm not hungry anymore.
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August 11th, 2005
04:39 pm - Why am I more proud than afraid?
Lorelei: (looking at a catalog) Hey Dad, you know that whole "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" thing?
Me: Yeah?
Lorelei: It leaves "do no evil" wide open.
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June 9th, 2002
10:34 pm
took the kids out for ice cream this afternoon.
storm got the bright color permanent dye rainbow swirl. lorelei got chocofudgystuff with chocolate chips. i got a coffee ice cream thing.
I asked lorelei if i could taste her ice cream and she said okay, if she could taste mine. ok.
so i try hers, yep, chocolate death. she tries mine and makes a yuck face. "it has coffee in it" i say. she says "great, now i'm going to have the jitters all day". so i say "think how i'll be, i'm eating a whole cup of it".
and she says "you don't have to worry, you're old, you don't have much jitter left".
kiss my jittery butt, kid!
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June 7th, 2002
09:00 am - Kids!
Just random things from the past couple weeks...
Get up early to make pancakes for breakfast. One of the last days of school, want to do something special for Lorelei. She comes downstairs... "Lorelei, I made pancakes. Want some?" She sighs... "I was hoping for something nutritious." This from a kid who would eat a bowl of candy bars with a fork if she could get away with it.
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Gave Storm a bath. Come on honey, lets get you dressed. "No! I don't want to get dressed!" Why not, I ask. "Underwear is boring."
Indeed it is.
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New after dinner ritual... Storm squashes germs, Lorelei fills dishwasher. Germs are squashed on the dining surface by use of a wet sponge. They make small screaming sounds. This encourages Storm to squash more vigorously. :)
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I make bran muffins with whole semi-dried cranberries in them. They rock. Lorelei comes downstairs... Lorelei, I made muffins, do you want somes? "How do you expect me to eat muffins when you've ruined my life by giving Storm the bow to my violin and telling her to smash it and hide it?!?"
What???!
Turns out this is her interpretation of the situation that she can't find the bow. It's a large plot against her.
The whole morning goes like this... Grouch grouch grouch. Finally, on the way to the babysitters in the car, I tell her not to talk, she's putting me in a bad mood. So she takes to inhaling and then exhaling in huge sighs every time I say something. Over. And over.
So we make it to the bottom of the road the babysitter lives on. I pull over, get out, hold door open. "Get out." What?? she says. "Get out. I'm tired of listening to you grouch. I'm going to drive the rest of the way in peace. You can walk."
Oooh, the look she gave me. It was worth the inconvenience. :)
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